Discouragement:(

  To be honest this past week has been rough for me, I am discouraged! We have gotten no response to our auctions or sponsor letters we sent out. Actually we are in the negative for our photo cards because a few of them came back undelivered so we are out the postage! (I would like to add that after my pouting at the beginning of the week a few friends did order some of the totes that I have been selling as a fundraiser that really raised my spirits! thank you!) We are waiting waiting waiting on that second redo clearance and the third reference for our finalized home study draft. Joey has said from the beginning the money never bothered  him, weird because in matters other then adoption money matters usually stress him and not me! But the money part really stresses me out. I look at it from a different angle though. I am currently working night shift at a local hospital, my goal and dream would be to quit or at least minimize my hours after our kiddos come home. So when I look at having to finance $20,000 we have left to pay and then another vehicle to me it looks like more time at my job then time at home with my precious children. I should have given a disclaimer at the beginning that this is a whine post:) I just feel stalled with everything then we got more lovely news about our immigration paperwork. What used to be a relatively quick and painless process now will probably take at least 75 days! AHH
   I have prayed and prayed this week for God to guide our adoption and then like a light bulb in my slow dense head He spoke to me. I am working, I am drawing you close to Me. I always think about and look to the end of our adoption journey as the good part, the happy ending. I need to realize that this is a good too, this is a blessing! All these things are teaching and molding me into the woman that God desires me to be. I cherish my biological children more, I respect and honor all the work my husband has done. I have been on my knees more in the last few months then would have been if we were not adopting. I need to pull my big girl panties on and realize if I keep being discouraged then the evil one is winning. I refuse to let that happen! God is going to do great things in these little ones lives. I am so blessed to one day, hopefully soon, be their mother. I know He will open the doors in His perfect time and when He has finished teaching me what I need to learn. Please pray for grace because I can be a little stubborn:)!